Sometimes, I come off as unserious.
Every time. Lol.
I’m sorry but who would take me serious? This tiny, small, petite, brief, a bit tall-but-not-exactly-short- somebody of a person that can shine teeth for Africa (to think that close up haven’t even seen me yet) and play for the whole world.
You know I can play. Abi?
But I am serious too though. I mean, I’m a serious person. I have a serious face as I type this. (I’m trying to hold my breath here, please give me credit)
Sometimes ehn, I wonder if God takes me serious too. You should see when I pray. I mean, one on one with God. I’m a mess. I have no praying direction whatsoever. I can begin with asking for forgiveness, than migrate to thanking him and wooing him (I just love to sing his praises) and I’ll stop. I’ll stop to think if I have an intention and half of the time, I won’t remember so I’ll just go on with gisting with him and when I’m done I’ll round up, end my prayers and move on. Now, that’s where the problem is.
In my process of moving on, I’ll remember I left out an intention so I’ll chip it in. The funny thing is this. I pray anywhere; at any point in the house. I won’t say the first thing I do immediately I wake is to pray. I’d probably say ‘hello God…’ and move on. Then while I’m trying to work out, prepare breakfast or do chores, I’ll begin my prayers. Now, imagine I just left the bathroom some two minutes ago and I prayed in the bathroom only to remember I left out something. Yes, you guessed right. I’ll run back into the bathroom, as foolish as that is, grinning like a cow and trying to call God back like he left to go to the market.
How I begin to pray is the weirdest part. I’ll be like.
‘Eeerrr…hi God….errr….hi again. Wait are you there? It is me again. Yes. Hi….I’m fine. I forgot something. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was thinking. Yes. So back to the prayer, where did I stop??(Here, I’m rolling my eyes trying to think of the last thing I said so I can connect it with the new prayer request.) Oh! yea…so…yea…bless our country and keep us in peace. And God o, (I’m trying to chip in the new intention) I need your help. I need direction. I don’t think I know what I’m doing. Not like I don’t know, I know but it just seems like I don’t know. So, basically, I need your help. I’m sort of confused’ (I can imagine God giving me the ‘ oh so you know’ stare.) ‘I always am’, I continue. ‘So will you help me out? Say like, err…would you give a sign or something??…like I don’t know…you just do your thing…please. Yea? Biko nu? Ehn? Thank you.’
I end the prayer again and proceed to leave. I step back into the bathroom,
‘errr…one more thing. The sign, nothing heavy…something I can identify without looking stupid before you and forgive me for the times I wasted your time…’ At this point, I feel God is a staring at his wrist watch probably a Michael kors brand. So I’m like, ‘OK…I’m done’. I leave and proceed to go on with the rest of my day.
A couple of days later, I have forgotten I asked God for a sign. So I just do regular prayer without bothering about it. I have realized that, you never really should bother yourself about God’s timing, he is never late.
Early this week, I’d been a bit ‘directionless’, if there’s a word like that. Being clouded with so many plans can be confusing. So I talk to my brother and his wife and they give me the assuring support of always believing and focusing on being better in my art. So I began to rearrange my priorities again o.
Tuesday night in the middle of work, I tell God in a whisper, ‘I need your direction’ and I go on with work.
By Wednesday, something comes to my mind. Something completely out of my plan; not even in the priority list. I ignore it.
A couple of incidents bring up the thought. I get excited and decide to give it a try.
Fast forward to this morning. I’m preparing to leave for Abeokuta to go do some work. In the bathroom again, I do not pray. Instead, I’m like, ‘can I do this God’? and I move out. I know what you are thinking. Sorry, I didn’t go back, I hurriedly get dressed to leave.
We get to Abeokuta and drive to location. As we approach location, my client tells me, ‘by the way Marie, we would pass Wole Soyinka’s house’.
*ONE MOMENT OF SILENCE AS I TRY TO EXPLAIN WITHOUT FULLY EXPLAINING THE EXCITEMENT I FEEL*
As a member of the arts, Wole Soyinka is a big deal! BIG DEAL!!!
I’m excited. Very excited. It’s not like I’m going to see him o. But I am super excited. So I tell a member of the team, ‘on our way back, you’d take pictures of me here. Forget the pictures we took already, this counters them.’
So here I am, on our way back to Lagos looking at the pictures that were taken and it hits me!
‘This is it! This is the sign chidi! You bloody bastard! This is it!
Only then does it occur to me, ‘….something I can identify without being stupid’. Choi! God is never late. I feel a bit stupid (nice one God) but I don’t mind. I figured this out and I’m glad I did. I will take baby step for this. I don’t want to get too excited and end up not doing it but I’m going to do this. I definitely will.
I would tell you guys but I’ll wait till I finish and you’ll see eventually. I’m still on my way home as I write this although I would post this when I get home but I can’t wait to get home and while I freshen up, I’ll have a long talk with God. I don’t know how I’ll start or end. But I’ll be saying a lot of thank yous and I definitely would woo him.
Only God knows how God takes me serious, lol…only he knows.
FYI, as you can see, we no fit to enter the house but, I’ll call those numbers tomorrow. Not to book an appointment, but to announce my ARRIVAL. Run! Wole. Run!
P.S Dear Wole Soyinka, The love of my literature life, if you ever see this, biko, let me in…I promise I won’t come with a car and I won’t ask stupid questions although for the first two hours I will be totally clumsy and will be in awe of your white hair. I have a fro…should I dye it white?